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Why No One Wants to Be Your Mentor

Small business owners frequently cite that having a mentor is one of their top keys to success. So why don’t you have one? It’s because you have misconceptions about what a mentor looks like and how they can help.

Here is why people don’t want to be your mentor:

  1. They don’t know you. You won’t find mentors by reaching out to strangers since they don’t know you and won’t invest time in helping. Instead, look around at the inspiring people you are already interact. Your mentor needs to be someone who believes you are worthy of helping. Ask who in your network already fits that profile.
  2. You ask for mentorship. “Will you be my mentor?” Sheryl Sandberg explains that, “If someone has to ask the question, the answer is probably no. When someone finds the right mentor, it is obvious.  The question becomes a statement. Chasing or forcing that connection rarely works.” When looking for a mentor, author Ryan Holiday says don’t even use the word. A mentor is a label that can only be applied to someone over time, and by the time that label can be applied, it is already very clear what that person’s role is. Just like any other relationship, it has to grow and transform into what you both want it to be. Let them develop slowly over a period of time.
  3. You take without giving. The “mentor-mentee” relationship needs to be a mutual exchange. While at first it may seem like you have nothing to bring to the table, this is not the case. Give your time by finding articles, links, or news that can benefit your mentors. Make connections for them to your network. Tweet their posts, comment on their blogs, and share their updates. Ask how you can be of service to them.
  4. You are a drag to mentor. Take a closer look at yourself. Are you somebody you yourself would like to mentor? Are you eager to listen, learn and committed to implementing the advice you receive? People don’t want to mentor those who are sensitive to criticism and stuck in their ways. Arguing with all feedback is a major red flag to a potential mentor that you aren’t worth their time. Excuses are also a barrier.

Be great at what you do. Work hard and be dependable. Go out and become that person that others would love to support and nurture in business.

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About the author

Barry Moltz helps small businesses get unstuck. He applies simple, strategic steps to facilitate change. Barry has founded and run small businesses with a great deal of success and failure for more than 20 years. He is a small business speaker, radio host and author of four books. As a member of the Entrepreneurship Hall of Fame, he has spoken to audiences of up to 20,000 people. He is a regular guest on business radio and cable TV programming.